


Evolutionary Sanvers

by Inquisitive84



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, BAMF Alex Danvers, BAMF Maggie Sawyer, Complicated Relationships, Declarations Of Love, Drama & Romance, Drunken Confessions, Emotional Maggie Sawyer, Endgame Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friendship/Love, Heartache, Maggie Sawyer Backstory, One Night Stands, POV Maggie Sawyer, Rejection, Sanvers Week 2017, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer, Unrequited Love, sanvers smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-11-09 16:48:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11108721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inquisitive84/pseuds/Inquisitive84
Summary: The evolution of Sanvers. It's a slow burn. Enjoy the ride! Cuz it's getting steamy!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Takin' it back, to the 1st kiss y'all. This is gonna be a slow burn, to get through this hiatus. Hope you enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath, of the kiss...

Maggie didn't know what to think, do, say, as Alex Danvers walked away. With her finger still placed on her lips, she lie in wait while a Gale force wind enveloped her heart.

"Fresh off the boat...I'm here for you...as a friend...shiny?!!!!!"

_What the actual fuck did I just do?_

Took all of five seconds to realize she made a mistake; went about this poorly. She knew she was going to need some time to process everything, as was Alex. She had been falling, for her. Since, the first day Agent Alexandra Danvers got under her skin, at the airport tarmac. But, her infatuation was no excuse to thrust Alex into a relationship fresh off the boat, or herself fresh off a breakup. At least, that was the lie she was telling herself. 

After staring at the dart board dazed for five minutes, garnering some looks from the regulars who'd never seen her that stunned, she needed a change of scenery. Once she'd settled up with Darla, she cracked a smile at the regulars and set out to do some real thinking. 

There wasn't much a brisk evening walk, under the National City sky, couldn't fix. Sadly, what she expected to be a peaceful walk to the bay was interrupted, by throngs of people. She was used to it, living in the city. But, the streets were uncharacteristically crowded for a Thursday. Between the people moseying from five star restaurants to their hotels, or the locals watching the game at O'Malley's, she was painfully aware she was alone. None of those people were Alex. 

If she hadn't just rejected her five minutes ago, she would be in her own damn bar with HER Alex, playing pool and having her own damn drink! She certainly wouldn't be freezing her ass off, on this supposedly mentally clarifying walk. Nope. The only clarity she'd gained thus far was a rapid fire play-by-play of their romantically fueled existence. Because, Alex had taken the time to see her, to care enough about Maggie's breakup to say "get better," knowing it was indeed physically painful. Not only that, Maggie's understanding of Alex's revelation, armed her with the confidence to brazenly walk into the bar and take those lips without abandon. God, those lips burned like fire! They burned, as much when they connected as they did, when they walked away. 

She was doing it, again. Alex Danvers had her so enthralled. She didn't realize she was now stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, dazed and confused _._

_God bless! All I need is a fanny pack and camera, and I'll be a damn tourist! Pull it the fuck together, Sawyer!_

The only thing managing to allow her body to register external stimuli, again, was the notes coming from a new jazz club. She'd heard good things about  _Keys_ , from some of her colleagues at the precinct. Sensing this was the place a girl, who just made a colossal mistake, could get some stout spirits. She made her way to the door.

Acclimating quickly to the haunt's dim lighting, she hopped up on a bar stool allowing the piano player's rendition of Miles Davis'  _In a Sentimental Mood_ sooth her until the bar keep arrived. Because, if there is one thing Maggie likes with her jazz, it is the occasional beautifully aged Scotch. It didn't take long for the romantic undertones of the music, to override that head clearing she was supposedly doing. _This would have been a perfect place, for a first date with Alex!_  

"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! How could I be so stupid?" she whispered, before realizing she'd said it aloud. Not wanting to solicit anymore stares, she went back to her internal badgering.

_What the fuck did I do? Alex Danvers is not some hit-it-and-quit-it I met at last call. She's amazing and kind! God! She tasted so fucking good, like bourbon and cinnamon. Why did I let that exquisite being, walk her tight ass out the door? Oh, that's right! Because, I'm a fucking coward! That's fucking why!_

As she continued to drown her sorrows, which never works nor should it, one thing was painfully obvious. The rejection was never, about Alex! Because, there Alex was grabbing her arm, pulling her close to fasten their lips, like magnet to metal. There was Alex wanting more, and having the guts to admit it mere hours after coming out to her sister. No! It wasn't Alex! Maggie knew it was her.

"You fucking coward!"

"Excuse me?" said the boyishly handsome piano player, who had taken residence on the adjacent bar stool. 

_Jesus! How long have I been fucking muttering aloud? Damn Scotch already kicking in..._

"Sorry I was just thinking out loud what an absolute fool I am."

There was something about the warmth in his blue eyes, making her wonder if he was one part therapist, the other caring brother.

"Ah. Been there. Don't beat yourself up. I highly doubt anyone, who made detective is a complete fool."

"How did you know I'm a detective?" 

Grinning cautiously, he pointed to her belt, where a shiny NCPD badge sat, removal forgotten from all the evening's events. She knew she'd taken it off, when she left the precinct. So, when did she put it back on...? Oh well.

"Jesus. Can't believe I forgot to remove that. Detective Maggie Sawyer," she extended her hand.

"Winn Schott, Jr. Tech genius. Nice to meet you!"

"Tech genius by day, jazz pianist by night. Nice." 

"Thank you. I've also been told I'm a great listener. Care to tell me, about this girl you let walk away?"

"I never told you it was a girl?"

_Does this guy have telepathic powers or something?_

"Well, I've been sitting here, for a good ten minutes, now. I believe you mumbled something, how did it go, about her lips tasting like bourbon and cinnamon?" 

_*Face palm* What the hell? He seems harmless. What do I have to lose? I've already lost the best thing to walk the earth._

His calming demeanor had caught the usually private detective, on the right night to bare her soul. Just in time, for Scotch number two.

"You're right. It was a girl; the most amazing woman I've ever met, Alex. Just Alex. She hates it, when people call her Alexandra."

He thought about the first and only time he called Alex Danvers, Alexandra, comically remembering the horror with which she'd threatened to use her index finger.

"Funny. I know an Alex, who says the same thing. She's like my terrifying, but lovable, older sister!" 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winn apparently does have a protective side, an albeit devious one. Maggie spills her guts, to the presumably harmless techie...

* * *

Two drinks in, maybe it was the liquor or the man next to her, but Maggie was oddly comfortable. 

"God! Winn, I asked her if she was cool, like I'd just canceled plans for bunch, after she kissed me like my train was leaving the station!"

Most of their conversation she'd either stared at the wall or into her drink, knowing she was being heard. She was not the type, to sit on a bar stool and tell her life story. But, there she was. For someone with such a large heart and subtle kindness for everyone else in her life, she never afforded herself the same. Winn didn't let it unnerve her. He had a gift, for sensing what others needed. So, as she finally made eye contact, she was gracious for his attentive posture.

"Do you think you played it off, because you were just nervous?" he said, starting to have some questions of his own.

"Without a doubt, I was 100% terrified. I knew we weren't cool. I knew it! I just didn't want to ruin our friendship. I've come to depend, on it. I don't normally do well with partners, professionally or personally, as is never more glaringly apparent than this evening. But, as Alex and I started collaborating more on cases between the..."

_Don't say DEO! Don't say DEO!_

"...FBI and NCPD, I started to form this reverence toward her. I mean. I came out, when I was fourteen. But, Alex just realized it, and she's our age! God! I feel so terrible. I was so excited and proud for her...still am!"

Despite Winn's sheepish nature, his poker face was strong, tonight. Maggie was too caught up in spilling her guts, to realize Winn Schott Jr. had put the puzzle pieces together. 

_NCPD and FBI collaboration. Wait? That FBI thing sounded like a cover-up. Oh shit! Shit! Shit! This is the Maggie. Alex has been yammering on about for weeks, now. So, Maggie hurt Alex? Well, I'm certainly not telling her who I really am now. I want to know her intentions. OMG! Alexandra Danvers is GAY! A lesbian. My terrifying older sister/boss/friend is GAY! Oh, shit, Maggie Sawyer is looking at me. God, I hope Alex doesn't kill me with her index finger, when she finds out I know. Maybe she won't find out. Shit, pay attention, Winn!_

"Winn, she had the courage to accept who she is. I admire that! I don't...want...to...just...be...her...friend! I can't explain how much I hated pulling away, from that kiss! God, I did! Have you ever just kissed someone, and known that each second made your whole existence okay? That's only a tenth of what I felt, when she kissed me. But, No! I don't know if it was my pa..past, or being dumped the week prior, but I just freaked...da...fug...out!"

Ok. So, two things were apparent: Maggie was very buzzed, cuz' those last two sentences were a hot ass mess. Secondly, Winn came to realize Maggie might not be the evil temptress he thought. Now, that he could clearly see she cared about Alex. He needed to hear about her past. So, if Maggie had skeletons in her closet, he wasn't going to stop her from telling.

"I'm sensing this is a delicate subject, but would you care to tell me a little about your past? So, I have a better understanding, as to why you rejected Alex?" Maggie Sawyer might have been winning him over, but the protective brother in his voice came out a tad snarky. 

"Rejected. Jesus! It's all so concrete, when you hear 'rejected!'"

She put her head down on the edge of the bar, as the amber liquor/emotional exhaustion finally caught up with her. "She must absolutely haaaaaate me right now!"

"But, to answer your question, I was outed by my best friend, to my whole school and parents, when I was a teenager. I developed feelings for her. So, I took a leap and professed them. As soon as my parents found out, they disowned me. I lived with my Aunt, until I graduated. She was great! But, I haven't spoken to my parents, since that night. I made it through. But, that rejection. That felt exactly like what I did to Alex, even if my heart was in the right place. It would be a cop out, to say I wasn't scared. I mean. I have years of baggage, Winn. That's why I want Alex to experience her coming out positively. As much as I wish I were holding her right now, I don't want to be selfish. I want her to go out and date, have fun, be part of the community. So, she can see, that everyone's story doesn't have to be like mine was. Ya know?"

_It's official. I'm an asshole, for ever thinking this woman was anything less than honorable._

"Wow. That's heavy! But, I can see the difficulty in the decision you made. Do you have any idea how you're going to move forward with Alex, if she decides to let your back into her life?"

"That's tricky! She's hurt, and quite rightly angry, right now. So, I'm going to give her a couple days. Hell! I'll give her as long as she needs, if she even gives me half a second chance. Maybe, just maybe, she will let me back in, to rebuild our friendship. But, I've already done enough damage, for one evening!"

_God! This chick is true heart! This is going to end poorly, for me. Ugh._

"Well, Maggie, my break is long past done. The people are starting to look a little restless. lol. I know it doesn't feel like it, now. I even know this next comment is so cliche. But, if it's meant to be, it will be. Also, if someone is special enough, they just might be worth going against your own rules. She sounds like she's worth it, and so do you!

Maggie was in awe. She'd never spilled her guts to a virtual stranger, to have said stranger provide such insight.

"You're so right! She is worth the moon and the stars. Thank you so much, for letting me bend your ear! Maybe you should look into being a therapist, if this tech thing doesn't work out." As a reward Maggie bought his drinks and gave him the signature Sawyer dimples. Suddenly, Winn knew why Alex had become so entranced.

Yep. He was definitely in big trouble. He'd be picking up a large carton of Tum's on the way home, needing two packs alone if he were to muster up the courage to tell Alex. One thing was for damn sure, he would be telling Kara, tomorrow...

 

  


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie and Alex, night after 1st kiss continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While Maggie is pouring her heart out to Winn, across town Alex is on a mission to have a much different night. Alex's POV post kiss...

Maggie knew Alex was an expert at quick maneuvers. But, she never knew Alex would disentangle herself, and be out the door so quickly it felt like a dagger to the heart.

\---

The tears started falling, before Alex even heard the steel door slam. "Alex, don't go!" still ringing in her ears, like she was someone to be pitied. Alex Danvers didn't do pity. 

After she stilled her shaking, she finally made it to the edge of the alley near the street. She'd parked her bike there, in case things didn't go well, even though she was confident they would. Never had she been more wrong! So, once the tears drained enough for her to focus, she wasted no time putting foot to pedal. She needed, to clear her head! 

_How could she just reject me, like that? Is there something wrong with me? No! No! This is on her. If she doesn't like me, someone else will!_

She kept her internal monologue authoritative, strong. No way in hell she was going to be that chick who wrecks her bike, from crying! But, deep down this felt worse than her first breakup. This felt worse than just about any mission gone wrong. 

 _Fuck her!_  There was a tinge of shame for even thinking that, but she was angry. Because, despite the rejection, Maggie had her heart. But, that noise was for another day. She remained resolute.

 _I'm fr_ e _sh off the boat?! Well, we'll see if some other ladies like this 'fresh off the boat' ass! Where the hell is the new club?_

Like a true scientist, she would test her hypothesis. Alex was known, to go to extremes. She was a soldier and scientist. She didn't dwell on things. So, she gave herself a new task, to hide the pain. 

Hypothesis: Was Maggie's rejection, because she wasn't attractive/likable enough? Would other variables create a different result? 

Experiment: Go to new gay club. Prove Maggie is a moron, in matters where I'm involved. Prove the incorrect variable was Maggie.

She would make out with everyone in that damn club, if it satisfied a favorable result! 

After a quick bourbon fueled stop at the loft to don her most curve accentuating dress, she was off sans Ducati. Even the Lyft driver said "damn." She wasn't looking for men, but she cracked a smug grin. Alex Danvers liked to win, and this experiment was off to a good start. 

As the driver pulled up to the club, he noticed a change in her demeanor. Little did he know Alex Danvers clubbing, looks a lot like Agent Danvers mission ready. There was an air about, that screamed confidence and focus.

_No cover, from the bouncer. Yes! I forgot how much I love this dress! Jesus! This place is packed!_

Luckily, the plunging neckline of that black dress was creating a path all its own. 

"Hey, gorgeous, what'll it be?" chimed the Victoria's Secret model masquerading as a bartender.

"Make me something that'll make me forget my name; your specialty" she winked with that devilish grin she normally got, when an assailant underestimated her.  

 _"_ Bad breakup, love?" The bartender saw right through her cover, directly to the angst. 

"In a nutshell, I came out, professed my feelings, and got rejected...all in that order." 

"Damn. Your drink is, on the house! But, two good things came out of it."

"Ha, okay. I'll bite." Alex scoffed sweetly.

"Honey, you come out! Congratulate yourself! You did something some people are never able to do. Secondly, you walked up to my bar wearing that dress!" Alex could have taken a knife to the face, and she wouldn't have broken eye contact. 

"I'm Tatiana, by the way. Nice to meet you!"

"Alex. Likewise!" She couldn't remove the stupid grin on her face. 

"Well, Alex, it seems like you already have a few admirers. I'll be back, with that drink in a few minutes, love."

_My God! Tatiana, you fox. Jesus! That ass! Focus, Danvers! You're here, to turn heads. This is an experiment. That's three so far. Now, where are those admirers?_

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little did Kara know, she would be a receiving a human sized gift at her doorstep, the morning after the kiss!

Thud!

"Ow, Kara! What the hell?" as his hungover body hit the floor, between her doorway and apartment floor. 

"I should be asking you the same thing, Winn!" as she helped him to a standing position, not daring say how terrible his breath was. 

She dragged him into the apartment, rushing at super speed to get a bottle of water and day old muffin from the kitchen.

"Oh, Kara! Please, don't...d-don't do the super speedy thing this morning. Brain and stomach. Can't. Take It!" he said with one foot on the floor, as if to keep himself from falling through it. 

She sat down on the couch, soft smile on her face, and grabbed his shoulder. Maybe it would steady him enough, to tell her what in the world happened!

"Didn't you play the club last night? You never drink, while you play?!" said Kara, as he put his Wayfarers on, feigning an upright position. 

"I didn't! I didn't plan on it. God! I haven't drunk that much, since college! God bless, my head!" 

As he sipped his water, slowly, he noticed Kara waiting in anticipation to hear the story. Kara was many things: Kind. Caring. Heroic. But, her patience still needed a little work. 

"So, you must have come to my place, for a reason?" she urged him onward. 

"Okay. Yeah, I needed to talk to you. Last night was crazy! Last thing I remember was stopping at the Rite-Aid, to get some Tum's."

As the carbs and hydration worked him to functional, he waived his index finger back and forth willing the dots to connect. 

"Then the liquor store next door had a sale on 12 packs of my favorite hard Cider. You know how I love my cider. So, I thought 'what the hell?'" 

"Oh, boy!"

"Yeah, 'oh boy' is right! You know I don't drink like that. A few ciders at game night or social gatherings. That's it! Cut to, me waking up against your door, feeling like shit!"

"Winn!"

"Wah?"

"Would you like to tell me why you went on a bender last night?" Kara softening a little, as she realized he indeed had a rough night.

"Ow. Where are my Tum's?" he shuffles through his pockets, to find three fresh rolls of cherry.

Popping a few in his mouth,  _hear goes nothing!_

"Okay. Okay. I-I'll tell you! But, you have to promise to listen to everything. And, please, don't tell Alex. She will kill me-"

"What's happened to Alex, Winn?" two more Tums go down the hatch. He did not like to be on the receiving end, of the Danvers glare.

_Please, God! Don't let her fling me off the roof!_

"Nothing has happened to Alex, as far as I know. I saw her coming out of _Ambient ,_ with a very hot female bartender, about 4 this morning. Anyway, let me start from the beginning."

_What in Rao's light happened last night? So, now Winn knows?_

"I was at _Keys_ last night. On my set break, I sat down on the bar stool, next to this super hot brunette cop. She didn't even notice me. She seemed to be in a complete daze, staring into her Scotch. She kept mumbling expletives to herself, calling herself a coward and how could she let that beautiful woman walk out the door. At that point I guessed she enjoyed ladies, and I didn't have a shot. But, something about her kept drawing me toward her. Her eye's were red. It was clear she'd been crying. That coupled with the curses she was mumbling under her breath, made me want to hear her story. I know. I know. I'm a glutton for punishment. I know, Kara. Yes. I have a type. Anyway, after a minute or two of small talk, she introduced herself as Detective Maggie Sawyer."

Kara gasped so loudly, Winn thought his damn ears ruptured.

"Yep. That Maggie Sawyer. Took me a while, to figure out she's the Maggie, Alex has been yapping my ear off about for weeks. Thanks, for telling me about Alex, by the way. But, we'll talk about that another time."

"Winn. She just came out to me last night. She was going to the bar to tell Maggie how she felt, when I got called to take care of the Mon-El situation. So, cool it! Tell me what else happened."

"Well, I asked her if she wanted to tell me, about the girl she let walk away. She was on her second Scotch, and seemed like she could use a friend. She didn't realize how long she had been mumbling and asked how I knew it was a girl. To which, I told her she'd said the girl tasted like bourbon and cinnamon. So, this is what I got from everything she said..."

_Finally, he's getting to the point. And, we women are the gossips. Ugh!_

"Apparently, Alex came to the alien bar last night and told Maggie that she came out to you. Maggie was so excited and proud of Alex, that she went to give her a hug. When she turned to go buy them drinks, Alex grabbed her arm and pulled her back into what apparently was a steaming...sexy...bourbon...cinnamon tasting....

"Winn, focus!"

"...kiss!"

"Okay. Go on."

"Well, apparently, Maggie got scared. She told Alex that she didn't do anything wrong. That she was here for her, but as a friend. Apparently, even though Maggie begged her not to go, Alex ran out of the bar. Maggie left some time after Alex and was walking to the bay trying to clear her head, when she heard me playing."

"So, what else did she say. I need you tell me ever detail, Winn! This is important. Poor, Alex! Oh, how did you figure out she was the Maggie, Alex had been mentioning?

"Well, I let her keep talking, because I - you know how curious I am. I wanted to hear what happened. I didn't start putting the puzzle pieces together, until she started talking about how through collaborations between the FBI and NCPD, their friendship had grown into one, on which she depended heavily. So, when she hesitated on FBI, because you and I both know she was trying not to say DEO, the light bulb went off."

"Wow! I'm not going to do it. But, I really just want to fling her into space right now!"

"Kara, there's more."

"What?!"

"Well, after I figured it out. My protective side kicked in. You and Alex are like sisters, to me. Ya know. Now, that I'm not into you."

"Yeah, yeah, got it!"

"Okay. So, I let her keep talking. If she hurt Alex, I wanted to know what happened. She was spilling everything. She was telling me how she wanted the kiss to keep going, but that she was fresh off a break up and Alex fresh off the boat. She inferred her coming out at 14 was not a pleasant experience. Which is why, she wanted Alex to experience everything for herself: date, enjoy being part of the community. So, she walked her feelings back. Kara, I know you hate her right now, for hurting Alex. And, if you hate her, I will hate her, too, out of shear loyalty. But you weren't there. She was broken...kept saying she knew Alex hated her now, wishing she were holding her. I could tell she was in pain. So, I listened."

"Okay. I'm still not happy with her, but I want to hear her story."

Kara said, while cleaning the broken pieces of the water glass she shattered at the beginning of the discussion. 

"I asked her if she could help me understand what happened in her past, that led her to rejecting Alex. Why she felt like her past influenced her decision? I was a bit snarky, because I still wasn't convinced she was a good person. To which, she informed me that she was outed by her best friend, on Valentine's Day, when she was a teenager."

"Oh, no."

"During the months prior, she and her friend had become really close. Maggie hadn't even come out to anyone, yet. But, she knew she liked the girl. So, she put a Valentine's card in her locker on the day, and told her how she felt. The girl panicked and showed the card to her ultra strict right wing Nebraska parents. Then, the girl's parents gave the card, to Maggie's ultra Catholic parents. As much as I will always love you and Alex, this part of the story was where I knew she never meant to hurt Alex." 

Floor now clean, Kara was sitting on the edge of her lounge chair, trying (and failing) to maintain her dislike. 

"So, after her parents found out, her father told her that he and her mother did not recognize homosexuals as people, that it was an abomination. No child of theirs was gay! But, Maggie was resolute. She knew she was gay! So, she argued back like most teenagers, telling him that he would have to get used to it. God, this guy makes me sick. Little did she know, that very moment, her father would ask her to go upstairs and pack everything she could fit in her suitcases. They would no longer recognize her as their daughter, if she CHOSE to continue this gay charade. He called her Aunt in New Mexico to take her, and dropped her off at the airport that night. She hasn't spoken to them, since. They haven't tried to contact their own daughter. Since, she was a teenager. I just couldn't hate her, at that point, Kara."

"I feel like I'm going to be sick. That's deplorable. Poor, Maggie. This is a mess!"

"Pfft. You're telling me. Why do you think I went, to get Tums in the first place. I knew I was going to need them, if I told Alex."

"Oh, Rao. Alex. Go back. So, how did you get, to where you saw Alex last night?" 

"After I finished my set, that's when I headed to the drug store. As you know, it's only a block from the club, with the park in between them. So, I was trying to clear my head and drink away my anxiety. Yeah, I know it doesn't work. I'm human! That's when I saw a very giddy, and buzzed, Alex walking out of the club. And, let me tell you, Kara. She was looking like getting that girl home was a mission. She was all over this girl, who was just as hot as Alex, with that Agent Danvers determination. They were kissing. The other girl was touching her back as they got into a cab together. So, I figured Alex is grown. So, I wasn't going to try to stop her..." 

"Oh, boy. I think I'll give her a little time. Cuz' I definitely don't want to fly in, on whatever is probably still going on right now."

"Yeah, everybody gets over heartbreak in different ways. She'll be okay. She's already gone through the post drunken one night stand phase. So..."

"La la la....I get it. That's my sister, Winn."

"I know. I know. What are we going, to do? I know she is going to need you, when she starts to process all of this."

"Rao, this is going to be way worse, than any other heartbreak. I don't know. I think we should keep it, to ourselves for now, and see how it plays out. You know how private Alex is. You have any of those Tums?"

"I thought Kryptonians didn't get heartburn?"

"Well, this one is, right now. Give it!"

"Give me one, too! I need it!"

"God, Kara. I hate keeping a secret, from Alex. If she ever finds out, do you know what she will do to me with her index finger?"

"Winn, I do not care how many Tums you have to eat. You are keeping this to yourself. Do you hear me?"

"Y-y-yes! There's that Danvers glare. Stop doing that. I will keep it to myself. Okay. Just stop looking at me like that!"

They both got to their feet (Winn hobbling), and down to the street to catch cabs. They would all be together, at work later. This was going to be interesting!  

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy!

Alex leaned over to find the most beautiful lithe form next to her. This didn't feel like the morning, after her college one night stands. She was sad still sad about the turn of events with Maggie, but sated at the very large milestone she'd crossed with Sarah. While the blond slept, she allowed herself to recap last night. 

\--

"I'll be back in just a few minutes, with that drink. It appears you already have a few admirers, newbie!" Tatiana knew Alex needed a breather, sexual tension between them already palpable. 

Alex Danvers was a spectacle, in the most intriguing way. Women waiting to talk to her, like they were trying to get on a ride at Disneyland, had Tatiana captivated. She was confident she would have Alex in her bed, by the end of the night. Until, that is, a new patron approached.

Sarah was probably mid thirties, with a yoga instructors body. After a half hour of aggressive and overtly sexual flirting, she was just the breath of fresh air Alex needed. "Hi! I know I'm supposed to be the experienced lesbian and tell you this is easy when you first come out, but you seem like you could use some honesty. Truth is! It's a real shit show sometimes! I'm Sarah, by the way. You are?"

_Oh, thank God! She's beautiful and knows how to provide a little levity!_

Alex tried to control her wandering eyes, but failed as a grin graced the blond's angular face. She was stunning!  

"I'm Alex. Nice to meet you, too! H-how did you know I just came out?"

"Well, I was at the bar when you floated in, in all your glory. Didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I heard you talking to the bartender. Figured I'd wait until the herd thinned out, before approaching." 

_Shit! She's funny, too!_

Alex and Sarah had created their own little island; death stares from surrounding women unnoticed. They were absolutely enthralled, with one another. 

Chemistry and volume from the pair projecting so loudly, Tatiana took notice from the end of the bar. Suddenly, her sure bet was looking a little less probable, which did not sit well with her competitive nature.

"So, how's that drink? You forgetting your name, yet?" said Tatiana, blatantly interrupting. 

"Oh, Tatiana, um - yeah...it's great! Thanks!"

Sarah could practically feel the souls of the all the fresh-off-the-boat lesbians Tatiana had left in her wake. Wielding her own powers of attraction, she wasn't going to compete; wasn't her style.

Sensing her tension, Alex searched the room for an empty pool table. "Hey, do you play?" 

"Yes. I love it! I just really feel like it would't be fair, though," Sarah said, gaining back some confidence. 

"Oh, really? Why is that?" said Alex, liking where this was going. Tatiana slowly grudgingly backed away, as a customer approached. 

"Because, no matter how much I'm attracted to someone, I'm not one for letting them win." 

 _Oh, really, now?!_ Smug grin on her face, Alex took one last drink.

"Good! When I beat you, that will make victory all the more gratifying!"  

Two wins to Alex's one, Alex's odds weren't looking good. She was dumbfounded.

"Okay. I'm not being boastful when I say I'm one of the best pool players I know. But, you've got legit skills! Did you grow up, in a damn bar?"

"Ha! No! My parents had a pool table, in the basement. I was a shy kid. So, when I had a rough day at school, I would go downstairs and play. After my Dad taught me the rules of the game, I became obsessed with learning all the tricks and hacks I could. It was mt stess relief. When I got to college, I actually competed quite a bit." 

_Jesus! Pool shark, beautiful, funny...what else?_

Sarah wasn't intentionally being flirtatious, when she leaned over to take the next shot, leaving her cleavage on full display through her little black dress. It took everything Alex had, to dampen an audible gasp. 

"Eight ball corner pocket" she said amused. 

"Well, guess that's that! I'd normally be a sore loser. Hell, normally, I wouldn't be the loser. But, this time around, I will gladly give you my twenty dollars!"

"Well, thank you! I'd normally be a sore winner. But, I'll refrain, because..." Voice low, she got so close Alex could smell the Scotch, on her breath. 

"...I'm more interested in my winning streak, with you!" 

_Fuuuuuuck me! Does she want to hookup? Winning? Shit! I think I might be feeling this._

Alex's body betrayed all her attempts to remain calm; eyes as wide as saucers, cheeks as red as roses. 

"Oh, God! Alex, I was just continuing the banter. Perhaps, I took it too far!" 

Before Sarah's own panic manifested itself into a blush, Alex was grabbing her cheeks, just as she'd done with Maggie hours prior. Tangling both hands in Sarah's, she willingly complied as Alex pulled her closer. _Her lips are so soft. Sarah, you goddess!_ Sarah grabbed one of Alex's hands, working slowly to intertwine both their lips and fingers, without spooking her.  _How freakin' cute; holding my hand like we're in study hall._ Alex wasn't about to take this moment for granted. Sarah was into her! She slowly backed Sarah against the pool table, hand once on her neck now sitting on the top of Sarah's sternum. Feeling Sarah's heart race was the most exhilarating feeling she'd had that evening. They were both so alive, tongues begging entrance to one another, heat radiating in every direction. They hadn't a clue how long they'd been there, until Tatiana made her way to the table, surprisingly kindly asking them to tone it down or take it somewhere else. 

Regardless of the bartender's presence, there was nothing stopping Alex Danvers, from kissing this beautiful specimen until she damn well wanted. A few more seconds passed, before they both needed enough air to break away. 

"Wow! That was something! Thank you!" Sarah said ignoring Tatiana's presence. 

"Thank me? No, thank you! That-that was amazing" Alex cooed pointing her finger to the universe per usual. 

"Look, I know you've had a pretty rough night, and feel free to say no. But, I feel like we really have a connection, and I selfishly kinda don't want this to end. My apartment is a few miles away. Wanna join me?"

_Oh, God! What am I doing? I'm the experienced lesbian here. I should not be taking advantage of her bad night. But, I really don't want to leave her. She's so fucking hot and smart. You're going to be the death of me, Alex!_

All Alex could do was stare.

_I knew it. I'm scared, but damn I'm so turned on...._

"I - Let's get outta here." She grabbed Sarah's hand and pulled them both onto the street, before either could second guess themselves. Once Alex Danvers made a decision, she was set. 

Waiting on a Lyft, she and Sarah picked up where they left off. This time hands, not Sarah's, began to wander. She let Alex explore what she wanted. She knew they might only spend one night together, so she was her canvas for the evening. She would do, or not do, anything Alex wanted. 

Unlike all her nights in college, her failed attempt earlier with Maggie, Alex's experiment had proven successful. She held the power, and Sarah so gracefully let her have it!

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nervous breakdowns and new sex...

If the Lyft driver was filming, he was certainly getting his money's worth. That Lexus was all steam, as Alex enveloped Sarah's mouth. It was light panting, hands grazing thighs, whimpers at the removal of said hands, and the biting of lips until swollen. They were two drunken moves away, from filming porn. 

_My God! I'd love to be a fly on the wall, when those two get home._

Both out of breath, Alex stilled their movements. 

"When you kiss me like that, I almost forget about everything that happened this, today!"

"Alex, you've got skills all your own. Trust me! I might forget my own name soon, if you keep this up!" Sarah said under a spell. 

As the driver pulled up to the beautifully restored 1950s highrise, "I've admired this building's architecture, for years."

"Yeah? That was one of the huge selling point for me; that and proximity to work." 

"Same! Hey, I just realized I never even asked what you do?" 

"I'm a real estate broker. You?" Sarah said, as they reached the elevator. 

_Here comes the inevitable lying portion, of my date!_

"I'm a bioengineer, for the government." 

_God! Please, don't ask me anymore. I'm too buzzed, to have to think about my cover._

"Well! I'm taking a real life smarty pants, up to my loft." Sarah grabbed Alex's hand, and flashed her a grin. She could tell Alex was a ball of nerves, and wanted to let her off the hook. As they got closer to what would be more of a penthouse, Sarah leaned in for a sweet, slow kiss. After a few seconds, she took the lead, and pulled Alex in by the waste to deepen it.

As soon as the elevator opened everything was very real, her heart beating to the nth degree. 

"Well, I guess business is good. This is absolutely beautiful!" trying to create a little levity. 

"Ha. You could say that. I've been very lucky. Would you like a glass of wine?" 

_Oh, God, yes! I'm wound tighter, than a tin drum!_

"Y-yes. That would be nice. Thank you!"

They sat on her balcony, taking in the views of the bay, talking for what seemed like hours. It was morning, but there were still a few hours to go, before the light of sunrise sobered any decisions. A brief lull in conversation created the perfect opportunity, for Alex to steal a soft kiss, her nerves already calm from the relaxing banter.

"Alex, thank you for letting me be a part of all this with you, tonight. This is probably the most fun I've had on a date, in a long time."

"Yeah. Me, too! Even though, technically, this is the first date I've ever been on...with a woman." Alex said cautiously, hoping she wouldn't scare her.

"Really? This is your 1st date, as an out lesbian?"

"Yes. Um. Why?" Alex now more than a little nervous. 

"Oh, nothing bad! I just realized how that question probably sounded. Sorry. It's just. Alex, you may be nervous, which is totally normal. But, you seem like you've been out for years. You have a confidence I don't think I've seen in a while."

_Yeah, that's because my more than friend, would be girlfriend, who just stomped all over my heart, taught me to be true to myself._

"Yeah, I - I had a really good friend help me come out and, uh, embrace who I am." Alex lamented.

Suddenly, Sarah remembered what Alex had said at the bar: "Came out, professed my feelings, and got rejected..." 

_Oh, shit! Way to darken the mood, dumbass!_

"Alex, I'm so sorry. Is this the friend you were talking about to the bartender, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Yeah. Tonight, before I came to the bar, I was actually at my usual place with Maggie, the woman for whom I have feelings. I told her I came out to my family, today, and that I like her. Then, I kissed her. To which she told me, that fresh off the boat relationships never work, that I need to experience being gay single, and that she would be there for me, but as a friend." Alex spoke drinking the final remnants of her wine. 

They looked at one another with such reverence. One seeking validation that things would be okay, the other in awe of the courage it took to take such actions. 

"Wow! So, let me get this right? You came out, to your sister. You professed your love, to your best friend. When that didn't work, you said screw it. I'm going to go to my first lesbian bar, by my own damn self?"

Alex couldn't contain the dopey grin, Sarah elicited. 

"Ha! Yeah, that pretty much covers it." said Alex feeling a little unsure, until Sarah kissed her, ferociously. No words would have sufficed, just lips. 

"Anyone ever tell you, you're a badass, Alex?"

Feeling a little more confident, Alex leaned in and left a trail of kisses on Sarah's cheek, jawline, ear. "A time or two, yes."

That cocky Agent Danvers grin was back, as Sarah gasped slightly. Her arousal was nearly off the charts, but she kept it take for Alex's sake.

"Well, coming from an out lesbian of almost ten years, you did things today, which took me months to do. I can tell you one thing! If you ever want to make her jealous, I'm your girl. And, if she still doesn't realize what she's missing, you come back to me. I'll treat you right!"

Alex, couldn't believe the words she was hearing. She was so nervous, when she got off the elevator. Now, all she could do was feel giddy, that this woman was protective and sweet and passionate about HER. She wasn't just feeding her lines like everyone in the bar. Those desires, which had previously been all-encompassing of Maggie, were temporarily replaced with the golden locked goddess in front of her. She could only see Sarah, bathed in moonlight. Alex would have taken her right then and there on that balcony, if she didn't have to worry about getting caught by Kara doing a fly-by.

"There might be something in the future, if I decide to forgive her. But, as it stands right now on this balcony, I am a single woman spending the morning, with a beautiful lady. And, I'm pretty sure you didn't just ask me up here, for a drinking partner did you?"

_Yes, Alex, I want to fuck you. I want to, but I don't want to take advantage of your bad night. Would I be her first? Oh, God, she's licking her lips. We're both fucking grown. She would look so good, in my bed. Fuck! What to do?_

"Oh, God! Was that too forward? It's just that we've been making out and you had that comment, about making her jealous. I've made a terrible mistake..." 

As she turned to run, Sarah spun her around and kissed her like they were star crossed lovers, in some old black and white movie. The nimble agent's knees buckled, letting Sarah lay both of them back down on one lounge chair. She looked Alex in the eyes, brushing the hair out of her face...

"You're absolutely breathtaking, Alex!" She repositioned them both to their sides, as to not pressure the agent. She wanted Alex to be completely sure, about this.

"You're stunning! So, selfishly I would like to wake up with you next to me, this morning." Alex grinned, as Sarah looked her dead in the eyes, running her hand down Alex's cheek.

"But, I'm guessing this would be your first time...with a woman? "

"Yes. Well, I've been with men, ya know, had sex. So, I'm not a virgin. But, yes. This would be my first time, with a woman...a very beautiful woman!" She stammered out nervously, but optimistically.

Sarah kissed her sweetly, didn't even let any other body part graze Alex. She didn't want, to startle her. 

"Actually, I'm the one in the presence of a goddess!"

"Now, that was smooth. I'm very quickly realizing how you've sold all those properties." Alex smirked before kissing her. 

"I'm not going to lie, I am nervous, because I'm afraid I won't know what to do, having little to no time to reseaech, or you won't enjoy it because I don't have enough experience with women. But, I do want you!" 

Sarah burst out, into laughter. "Research? Spoken like a true scientist. I think, if you have half the attention to detail you've had with me this evening, you are going to be exceedingly skilled in bed," as she kissed Alex passionately. 

In true agent Danvers style, she dove into the deep end, before she could second guess herself. 

"Well, there's only one way to find out..." She pulled Sarah up and walked her into the apartment, slowly kissing and touching ever inch of exposed skin, until Sarah was whimpering like it was HER first time. 

They stopped at the foot of her bed, lips and eyes locked on one another. Sarah took a moment to relish the presence of the beauty standing before her. She kissed her deeply, but softly, tongue patiently waiting for entrance, which Alex gave willingly. She let one finger on each hand trail down Alex's arms, to intertwine theirs. 

"Alex, you're so beautiful, smoking hot, actually. I know that I am going to thoroughly enjoy this experience with you. But, I want you to know that this night is about you. You hold the power here. I want your first time, to be beautiful. So, do you have any ideas of how you've envisioned this moment?"

Sitting and facing one another on the bed now, in the ambient light Sarah can barely see Alex blush  "Well, when I was in college, I didn't know I was gay. So, I had some pretty rough one night stands, just fucking. They got what they wanted, and in the morning they were gone. I've made my peace, with it. But, since I came out, while I've had raging sexual fantasies, about fucking women against every surface known to man. I really just want the one thing I never got...passion. I want us to be intimate, but you to take the time to show me what you like and don't like, and for you to do the same for me. I just want to feel pleasure."

_Shit! I have got to stop rambling! She's gonna bolt, now?_

"You are incredibly captivating! You know that right?" 

"What? I mean. That didn't freak you out?" squeaked Alex.

"Not at all. That was the most beautiful explanation I've ever heard. It's the most passionate plea, from any woman with whom I've been intimate." said Sarah arousal now ruining her panties. 

"Well, we haven't had sex, yet, but I would (kiss)

very much like (lick of the ear)

to (bite of the pulse point)

change (tongue making its way back to Sarah's mouth) that!"

Both still fully clothed, they pull eachother down to Sarah's very spacious king size bed. Sarah let's Alex take the lead, slowly letting her get accustomed to the feel of a woman's body underneath her. She loves the sensation of someone exploring her for the first time, savoring every piece of skin. Alex is living up to her reputation...very detailed. She's kissed and bitten every part of Sarah's mouth, until she whines at the loss of touch. Luckily for her, Alex has no intention of leaving her wanton. She immediately latches onto Sarah's neck, kissing a trail to her collarbone. Affixing herself, she nuzzles into Sarah's nook, enjoying the delightful sounds. Suddenly, she bites the tender flesh above the blonde's delicate skin. 

"Oh, fuck, Alex! I love that!" 

Sarah takes the lead, now, flipping Alex over, with one unique difference. She's slipped her thigh in between Alex's legs, eliciting a visceral moan. Sarah can feel how wet Alex is. Heat radiating through her core, she grinds down into Alex's bucking hips. 

"Oh my God. That-oh fuck. That feels so-so good!" 

"Take what you need, beautiful. I'm here." says Sarah continuing in tandem with Alex, hips moving in unison.

"Alex. Would you mind, if I take off my dress? The temperature in this room has risen significantly since you entered it." She says with a sly grin, not doing anything until Alex gives her permission. 

"I would really like it, if we undressed each other, actually?" 

Pulling her up, "Come'ere!"

Before Sarah can even ask who should go first, Alex has spun her around, trailing kisses to the strap on her dress. Using her teeth, to move it down Sarah's arm, she kisses across her shoulder blade, as she repeats on the other side.

Sarah has been very complimentary and vocal all night, but no more than now, when Alex gets an urge. She licks down the center of her back, to her zipper. Taking it into her mouth, she lets her nose run the length of Sarah's back as it comes undone, all the way to her sciatica. 

_Oh, fuck me! I did not expect her to be this good. Jesus!_

Little did Sarah know, she'd just begun ravishing her. Alex grabs her by the waist, kissing up her spine. She glides her hands up fresh skin, gently cupping the underside of her breasts, while kissing the back of Sarah's neck.

"God, Alex. You're a natural. I think my goosebumps have goosebumps." Sarah huffed with a small laugh.

"May I take this off? said Alex waiting for permission to remove her bra.

"God, yes!"

Sarah, slowly turned, now only wearing a delicate pair of black satin underwear. Alex couldnt control her gaze. Looking like a slightly more busty version of Jennifer Morrison, she was a vision. 

"May I? Sarah waited, for Alex's answer. 

"I suppose." Alex ever so coy.

Sarah wasted no time, popping the strap without a second thought. Both women openly staring at one another, only two small pieces of fabric keeping them from feeling everything the needed.  
"Wow! Please, don't be shy. You are ravishing, Alex!"

Not wasting another second, they launch at each other, feeling every sensation, warm hands on soft flesh. Both moaning and whimpering aloud, Sarah scoops Alex up, hands glued to the red head's ass like it's her job. Alex's core latched around her abdomen, Sarah ravishes ever inch of her neck and chest, using on arm to pull Alex in close enough to suck vigorously on her hardened bud. Beside her self, in another realm of pleasure, all Alex can manage is tangling her hands in Sarah's hair, eyes closed, neck back, praying it doesn't stop.

"Ohhhhh, fuck me. Sarah, please, ahhhh. Please, don't stop!"

She lays her on the bed, looking at Alex sweetly, hands running the length of her body. She begins kissing a trail, down Alex's right inner thigh. She doesn't want to embarrass Alex, who is writhing so vigorously she might come without another touch, but she can tell in her periphery Alex is fully wet, ready for her. The sight of Alex so completely wanton is enough, to launch her into orbit. She will give Alex what she needs or die trying!

"Alex, baby, would you like for me to take these off, and use my tongue and fingers? Or, is this too fast; need a break?"

"I - I can't wait anymore. Fuck me, Sarah!"

"Yes ma'am. But, I want you to tell me or tap me on the shlulder, if you need me to stop."

"I will. Just make me feel...everything, ok?"

Sarah slid her arms underneath Alex, arching her back leaving her breasts on full display, as she clasped her lips around her one. The suction was enough, but she knew what Alex needed, drawing the suction slowly to the tip of Alex's nipple, moving her tongue back and forth, she didn't know if it was Alex or her who let out a moan.

Alex delicately moves her head lower, Sarah obliging as she knows what she needs. Alex's hands going back to clasp the sheets, Sarah kisses down the hardened abdomen before her. Stopping at Alex's pubic bone, to kiss and suck, and mark her, Alex bucks her hips so hard Sarah knows not to drag the foreplay out anymore.

With a steady hand to secure her writhing, she dips into Alex's folds, tongue grazing from entrance to clit, she takes it all.

"Ooooh, God. Right there...r-right the-ah-re!"

"That's right. Keep telling me what you want."

Tongue lingering over her clit, she makes slow strokes around, sucking after each sequence. She can tell Alex is getting dangerously close, to the edge.

"Alex, would you like my fingers?"

Using her fingers to circle the fluids of her entrance. Alex is so wrecked she barely hears her talking. So, she stops, let's her breathing slow, before she gets a faint 'please, yes.'

She licks up and down Alex's clit, before dipping her middle finger in slowly. She lets her acclimate to a few strokes, before adding a second finger. Leaning to the side, to straddle Alex's thigh she waits for a nod, which she gets. They are a sight to be seen, Sarah pumping in and out of her, while Alex lets her ride. They're both moaning. They're both dripping. Latching on to Alex's breast one last time, while palming her clit and curling inside, that's it. They both grasp each other tightly through evert shock, riding every wave, until they both collapse. Sarah half on top of Alex, leaves a deep kiss, open mouthed kiss panting, conveying every feeling.

"Jesus, I can't feel my legs. I've never orgasmed like that, in-my-life!" says Alex still out of breath.

"Alex, that was...I've never been so turned on seeing someone underneath me. God!"

"I plan on finding out what that feels like for myself, in about five minutes."

Sarah and Alex both would be calling into work. There was more...research, to which Alex needed to attend!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their new reality...

The light of day two wasn't exactly brighter, for all of the Superfam! Winn was nursing a hangover, while Kara reevaluated her hate for Maggie. While Maggie, herself, was passed out on her couch, tear stained with whiskey breath, and a throbbing head ache.

For Alex, however, the grass WAS greener. The clouds were puffs of cotton candy. The birds only chirped her favorite melodies. Did she still feel rejected? Yes. Was she still in pain? Yes. Did she still want Maggie Sawyer? Yes. For now, though, she had a smile on her face, straddling her Ducati to headquarters. Wind, occasionally, brushing the warm skin Sarah ravished only hours prior. Yep. If last night's previous experiment did anything, Alex Danvers learned she did indeed liked intimacy. Who know? Not her. If you'd have asked Sarah, she would have told you Alex Danvers was a lover of intimacy...multiple forms of intimacy.

So, Alex Danvers had a smile on her face; a little apprehensive about seeing Winn and Kara. But, it was a good day!

"Agent Danvers, you look refreshed this morning! Have you changed your workout routine?" J'onn said, until her thoughts were so loud, he couldn't avoid reading her mind.

_My earth daughter is Gay! How wonderful! Oh no! That rejection must have been painful, for her. Oh, dear God! Now, I know why she looks refreshed! Rao! Please, let this case take her mind far far away, from her current thoughts._

As J'onn prayed he could remove the images of Alex and Sarah from his mind, he didn't realize Alex was now staring. 

"Sir..." she said with a smirk, knowing full well what he was doing. She knew he wouldn't be disappointed, in her. Martians were very open-minded. She sure as hell wasn't going to bring it up, though. That's her space Dad! 

"Yes. Agent Danvers, the case, an alien has taken hostages at National City Bank. I need you and Supergirl down there, to contain the situation."

Suddenly, her serene aura was replaced with a clenched jaw, as she was sure Detective Sawyer would be at the scene.

"Don't worry. Detective McConnell, her partner, has taken point on this one." he says reassuringly. He knew she would be worried, about it.

"Oh, uh, I'm not worried, sir. I'll gather a strike team, to head out in 5." She wouldn't let this get in the way, of her work. Being a highly skilled agent takes steel nerves, she thought. 

"Good. Supergirl is already on site. Head out, and stay on comms."

As she moved toward to command, with directives for her team...

"Alex, are you there?"

"Supergirl, ETA is five minutes!" 

"Thank, Rao! I'm so glad you're there."

"Why wouldn't I be?" she knew what her sister meant. But, a lot happened. Since, Kara held her Alex's sobbing form, in her apartment. A lot! The consummate leader, she would not discuss her love life over comms. Not her style! Not anyone else's business!

"Okay. See you, in a few. I've got the hostages out, and NCPD has the alien ready to release into your custody!"

"Copy that, 3 minutes out."

\------------------------------

"Shit! Shit! My head! Oh, God! It's seeping out of my pores. Fuck you, whiskey!" she mumbled much like Winn, as she hung onto the counter teetering to the fridge, for water and Advil above it.

She leaned over the counter, as last night's post-kiss events started streaming back, like Bloomberg's stock ticker on a day the Dow dropped 500 points. That water wasn't working.

"Oh, no. Oh, God!"

As with most hangovers, the regret of the night prior mixed with dehydration and withdrawal made for upheaval...literally. She couldn't control the tears, falling as she hugged porcelain.

"You deserve this, Sawyer! You stupid fucking bitch!" almost as much as Alex, she was an expert at criticizing herself. She knew Alex could be there with her right now, wrapped up in each other's bliss, if she had just kissed her back. But, the loss of a good friend, a best friend, just wasn't worth the risk. She reassured herself. She just couldn't do it. Alex Danvers was too important, to her.

Her body had forgiven her temporarily, and she moved to brush her teeth/shower. Then, and only then, would she make her coffee and watch the morning news, her daily ritual.

Wet hair wrapped, residual alcohol odor washed away, she made her way to her espresso machine, turning on the TV.

Headline:  "Supergirl on scene, as alien takes hostages at National City Bank."

"Shit!" she grabbed her phone, immediately calling McConnell. 

"Sawyer. Why are you calling me? You're not on, until tonight. You've already worked two doubles this week. Don't you dare think, about coming down here." McConnell knew she should be the lead. But, she needed to rest. The department had no way of knowing what they would have on their hands, now, with the birth of this Guardian vigilante.

"Okay. Okay. I hear you. But, my phone is on me. I want updates, if you need anything. I mean it!"

"10-4"

 As her coffee finished, the pain in her chest from last night, made it's triumphant return. There was Alex Danvers, super secret agent, plastered across her screen in high definition. 

She couldn't escape the sigh/sob, as she remembered the night prior. Not the kiss. Not the rejection. There was more. Didn't think she could take anymore. But, oh yes! The universe said "Maggie Sawyer, you fool, here's a little more torture for you." Because, when she hobbled out of the bar, letting Winn go back to his set, she decided to finish that walk to the water.

Even though, the new club was open. She knew it wasn't last call, yet. Seeking salvation in the marina lights she leaned over the guard rail looking at he reflection, pondering Winn's words. Maybe it was worth it, to give it a shot with Alex? Maybe Alex was her missing puzzle piece, even if she did just come out? Sometimes things were just meant, to be. If she were being honest with herself, she would move heaven and earth for that beautiful damn goddess. Unfortunately, she was wavering on fear.

Unlike Narcissus, she had grown weary of her reflection dancing on the bay, and headed back in the same direction to her apartment. It was only seven blocks back, and two blocks over from the alien bar. She would just rough it. 

Not making it fifty feet away, from the water. She thought her heart would nearly break in half. She had been there longer than she thought. Ducking into the alley, to peak around at the club now slowly letting out, she watched Alex Danvers glide gracefully onto the street an a dress sultry enough to be it's own interrogation tactic. 

 _"God! I've never seen a more beautiful being in my life! Allllllleeeeeexxxxxx. God! I want you! Hu-Who the fuck is that?"_  as she watched Alex turn to Sarah, enveloping the blonde's lips with vigor.

_No! I knew it! She would have left me. It hasn't even been 8 hours. Since, she told me how she felt. No! No! I have no right to think this way! I pushed her away. Oh, Alex! Please, don't go home with her. Please, d-don't do it! Please. Please. Please!_

She felt a little dirty, like some perv voyeur, peeping in on someone. She couldn't risk Alex seeing her, though. Maggie, for better or worse, was stuck in that alley, glued to the events unfolding before her eyes. As Alex pinned Sarah against the building, she was sobbing. She didn't care about the club-goers staring at her watching the two women across the street, knowing she was the exact personification of heartbreak. As the crowd started to thicken, obstructing her view, she ventured from the darkness slightly enough to see Alex and Sarah get into an Uber. Now, crouching between two cars, she heard the blonde confirm her address. That familiar boiling was back in her blood, when she noticed the sleazy driver watching the two women kissing in the back seat.

 _Oh, you like getting off watching women in your cars? I'll get your license plate, buddy, and make your life a living hell!_ she thought, before she could bring herself back to reality. She was a good cop. She would never use her badge to abuse her power, even if the guy was a complete sleaze ball. As they drove away, she felt her whole life passing by her. Her heart had never felt this heavy. Her breath had never felt this unsteady.

Still sobbing she made her trek past the park, luckily sans Winn who had already left. Despite not wanting to draw anymore attention, some of the women noticed her as the same woman from outside the club and had to say something. 

"Hey, girl. We know you're not okay, and we don't wanna bother you. But, we don't really think you should be alone right now. Do you wanna go grab a coffee or something?" asked the four women, who were clearly on a double date.

"No. No. I'm okay. Thank you." she tried to dry her eyes, but couldn't stop crying. 

"Oh, sweetie. You're not okay! We saw you looking at those two women. Did you catch one of them cheating on you, if you don't mind us asking?"

"Oh. n-no. God no! I actually didn't even know I would see them. I just went to walk to the-the water and was on my way back, when I saw..."

_What in the fuck has happened to me, tonight? Am I just going to tell every random fucking stranger my life story, until no one has faith I can protect this city, because of my bumbling feelings? Why don't I just tell everyone I have my period, while I'm at it?_

"I saw my friend, who had just told me she had feelings for me a few hours earlier. I told her I supported her as a friend, but that she needed to experience coming out and being part of the community on her own. I-I (sob) j-just didn't expect her, to jump in that quickly."

Maggie Sawyer was two things in public: reserved and calm. This was not her! She'd been snatched, from her body. That had to be it. She was floating above her body, watching this sobbing whiny in-love bitch, who looked like her, but was letting four random lesbians envelop her in a group hug and wipe the steady flowing tears from her cheeks. Nope! This was not her! She didn't know who the fuck this person was!

"Oh, honey. Sounds to me, like your heart and your mind are in disagreement as to what you want?" the other three women agreeing with her, as Maggie stared at all of them. How was she having this personal a conversation, on the god-forsaken street of all places? 

"Uh, y-yeah. I know. I might even love her. But, I'm not from National City, and she is one of my only good friends here. I don't want to jeopardize that, or have her leave me when I'm no longer shiny and new. My heart can't take it!"

The women now fully understood Maggie's fear. They all looked at each other, in silent understanding, having been there themselves two many times.

"Look, dear." said a statuesque woman, holding another's hand. "This woman next to me was my friend for ten years, before we decided to listen to our hearts and give it a shot. If it's meant to be, it will be!"

With a small chuckle, Maggie let herself take a full breath. Finally gaining some clarity "Yeah, I've heard that from other strangers tonight, too."

"Perhaps, the universe is sending you a sign, then, honey. Give her some time, let her experiment with these women, try to repair your friendship, be there for her, and maybe you can be with her. Keep the faith! She's just licking her wounds right now."

"Yeah, maybe. Thank you so much. I swear. I am not that chick, who drunkenly cries on the street, outside the club!" she says with a light chuckle.

"Girl. Forget about it! We've all caught feelings, outside the club!"

As if on cue, Maggie laughs her first full laugh of the evening, as the other women do the same.

"And, look here. I'm Sandra. This is my wife, Shelly. And, these two sluts (just kidding girls) are our friends Nicole, and her fiance Samantha. So, now you have four new friends! Here's my card. You call me, and we'll all get drinks next week."

"Oh, God! You guys don't have to do that."

"Shush. We want to do it! You are full, of heart. We love that! Plus, it might be nice having an NCPD detective, in our group."

 _Oh, for fuck's sake, Maggie. Still haven't taken the damn badge off. Good job!_ She thinks as she groans, looking down at her badge, still shining on her waist. 

"Oh my God! I was just on my way home; haven't been on shift in eight hours. Don't want you to think I was drinking, on the job. Listen, I really should be going. You've really helped me. I was in a really bad place, tonight. Now, I know what I have to do. And, I would love to get a drink next week. I'll text you!"

"Sounds good, dear. Hydration and Advil, for you, love!"

"10-4." she winked, as she hurried down the street. That IRL group chat, actually did help. Having a drink with the girls next week did, actually, sound nice, too. But, right now, her buzz had worn off, and her body desperately needed to crash.

\------

So, despite the new tears falling, as she reminisced while Alex Danvers was plastered on the local news in front of her, she was feeling slightly more optimistic. She cleaned up the dabble of coffee she spilled, and reminded herself of Sandra's kind words. She would stay away, like McConnell said, give Alex some space. But, she would begin Mission "Sanvers," tomorrow.

She couldn't exist, if it meant it was without Alex Danvers!

 

  


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This shit is getting too real!
> 
> BTW, all quotations are credited, to Supergirl writers. I am simply using them, for context in the story.

Maggie did what she said she would. She stayed away, from the crime scene, away from Alex. 

It was 9 pm, now, and she had spent the whole day nursing her hangover, binge watching Netflix, cleaning, doing every freaking thing to quell the boiling hot jealousy she felt. That blonde bitch had Alex smiling on National City news, for God's sake. 

_Plastic - power executive Barbie - basic edition looking ass BITCH!_

She knew she was being petty. But, she couldn't control the rage she felt seeing Alex's glow, on TV at the crime scene. She knew that look. She'd worn, and given, that thoroughly fucked demeanor a few times, herself. Everyone has had that look, from gripping your headboard an hour before work. Did Alex have to rub it in? She knew Maggie would see the news feed. It didn't help that Supergirl was hanging out with her like best buddies; camera crews filming their every move. 

_And, that sunshine Bitch can go straight to hell, too!_

She kinda felt badly, about that one. Supergirl and Alex, both, helped a lot of people. She just hadn't gone through the proper stages of hangover grief, yet. She would pull her emotional shit together and be civil, shortly. She could do this!  

_Pull it the fuck together, Sawyer! Mission Sanvers...Mission Sanvers...Mission Sanvers!_

If she repeated it, like a mantra, it might actually come to fruition. At the very least, it would give her the courage to get her ass another shower, fix herself up, put on her leather, head to the alien bar, and hope like hell she saw Alex.

\----

"...this bar has some really good chicken wings!"

"How do you know that's chicken wings?" said Kara knowing she would elicit a reaction from Winn, who was adorably gullible. He tried so hard to be accepting of everyone, but he still needed a little work. She would get him there. Being like his big sister, naturally though, she couldn't pass up the opportunity to mess with him. He just looked at her, like, why you gotta mess with me?

After the revelatory conversation they had about Maggie this morning, they were nervously hoping like hell they wouldn't see her. So, they were nothing but grateful, when the conversation turned to Guardian, not allowing Alex the proper time to catch onto the pair's fidgeting body language and excessive stares. They might get through this, with only one roll of Tums tonight. 

"Danvers, it's been a hot minute!"

 _Winn: Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Well, the jig is up folks. She fucking knows her Alex and my Alex are the same fucking Alex! Yep! Time of death 10:45 pm._ He managed to move his glare from Maggie, to Kara, who was giving Maggie the most fake Stepford smile, while he kicked her shin. 

 _Kara: Winn! Keep your shit together, or Alex is going to kill us both!_ she said with her eyes, knowing full well he better keep his mouth shut. 

_Maggie: Oh, that little shit! He better be glad I'm a detective, and I can keep my cool. This is about Alex. But, you and I will be having a conversation another day, Mr. Schott!_

All the while, James is so freaking confused, and Alex is half choking on her beer. Maggie was the last person she wanted to see. But, hear goes nothing! 

_Fucking rejected and now I have to introduce her to my friends, cuz' she's here for me, but as a friend! Why couldn't I just tell her, to go fuck herself? Why did I have to say we could still be friends? Fuck my life!_

Introductions were cordial enough, "this is Winn..."

_Little fucking shit. Yeah, you sit there and act like we never met. At least that means Alex doesn't know my secret._

"And, this is Kara."

"Oh, the sister! I've heard all about you, from Alex." Maggie was genuinely being nice, interested. 

"And, I have heard ALL about you!"

 _O-K! Shade received!_ she thought.

Kara was dying inside, torn between protecting her sister from the woman who hurt her, feeling genuine empathy for said woman, and keeping it a secret from Alex until she found out if Maggie was worthy of Alex. 

As they talked over to the side, Kara and Winn both sighed in relief, which garnered the attention of the still badly confused James. "What is going on with you two? When Alex's friend came over, you got white as a sheet?" 

Kara and Winn both looked at each other, for a minute. They knew that Alex hadn't completely come out, yet, and didn't want to disrespect that. 

"Uh, no new friends, ya know. She may be a detective, but the verdict is still out, as to whether or not she can be trusted in the super group. Ya know?" Kara said with almost a proud smile. She made that happen. And, James being the hetero he is, didn't question anything else just heading to the bar to get another round. 

Winn and Kara, who rarely drink, took another swig of their beers. 

"James, can you make mine one of those ale things that only I can drink?" Kara did not believe in drowning feelings in spirits. But, tonight was just too flipping heavy. Tonight, was the exception to the rule. 

"Okay, slugger, you got it."

\-----

Between the frustration over Winn and Kara, and the clearly passive aggressive nature of her "friend talk" with Alex, Maggie had enough. Another walk was in order, tonight, hopefully minus a siting from her soulmate hooking up with another woman. She knew if she walked fast enough, she might get home and past the precinct/DEO without seeing anyone. She would have to be on shift early tomorrow, anyway, and had a feeling some shit would be going down overnight with the Guardian. So, off to bed it was. 

Sadly, as her head hit the pillow, she couldn't stop replaying how good Alex looked. She ached at how good her lipstick matched that henley, and damn that leather and those skin tight fucking jeans. She knew she was a goner, but was desperately trying to keep this relationship platonic for her emotional well being. She'd grown accustomed to Alex being there. At the pool hall, texting her, showing up on her crime scenes.

This radio silence was taking her all the way back to the rejection only Nebraska, and all the people in it, had provided. It was too much. She couldn't take a broken heart, again. She left Nebraska, hell even Gotham, because of it. She just couldn't bare it another time. 

She knew she wasn't going to sleep. Bringing up an ASMR video on her tablet, she might get a few hours before she had to be on shift. Luckily, it worked, as she faded into the abyss, only Alex's lips on her mind. 

\----

_Ah, shit, how did I piss her off this time? Damn, she looks so good!_

"Danvers, I was just texting you." she tried to play it cool. 

"I need you, to lay off Guardian." Alex was all business. 

_Okay. I guess we skipped the friend portion, today. If Agent Danvers (not Alex) I get, Agent Danvers I'll take._

"You mean National City's masked serial killer? No way!" 

"He's not a serial killer, Maggie. You're targeting the wrong guy!"

"Okay. I'm listening."

"No! That's it!"

_You have got to be kidding me. I'm not dropping this guy, even if it is Alex fucking Danvers asking me._

"You want me to drop my prime murder suspect, you gotta give me more than that?"

"I can't. It's classified."

_Oh please. Spoken like a true fed._

"Come on, Alex, we're friends. You can tell me..."

"No! Maggie! We're not friends."

"Wow! Um. Okay. I'm lost! What happened?"

_Alexandra Danvers, how long are you going to keep me in the fucking doghouse?_

"We hung out. We got close. Then, you called me out, for liking you. And, then I had the guts to admit. Yes. It's true! And you told me that my feelings were real, and that I deserved to be happy. So, I thought that meant I deserved to be happy with you."

"Alex, I..."  _Please, don't stop being friends with me, too. I can't take it._

"No. No. No. I'm not finished. Cuz' then you convinced me to come out to my sister, and I did. Because, I was sure of one thing, and that was my feelings for you. Initially, I was terrified. But, ultimately I was proud to come out. Because, it wasn't just some concept.  It was about my feelings, for this amazing woman..."

_Oh, Alex. I'm not amazing. I have so much baggage. You deserve better. Believe me!_

"Now, I don't feel liberated, or...or like I'm on some great journey! All I feel is pain, because you don't want me!"

_Alex, you're wrong! All I want is you! I just want to hold you, right now. Please, forgive me. Don't end our friendship!_

"Oh, Alex, that's not why..."

"Just, you know what? Save it. Okay. That's not what's important, right now. What is important is that you back off Guardian!"

_Alex, if you only knew. I never wanted you, to be in pain. If I could take your pain away, I would in a heartbeat._

Little did Alex know, under Maggie's cool exterior, she was the scared little girl from Nebraska with the big heart, who'd weathered more heartbreak by the time she was 18, than most of the gay women in National City. For Alex, though, she would have taken a bullet, and asked for a second, if she knew it kept her safe. Alex was dead wrong on this one. Maggie cared too much. She knew she loved her. She knew she was an idiot, for ruining their chance. But, Mission Sanvers would commence. She would not give up on her. Alex deserved that much. 

\----

After a long day of Guardian hunting and Supergirl protecting, Alex and the rest of the Superfam was spent. As they settled in for movie night, a knock brought them all out of their haze, Alex (always the protector) quicker than most. 

_Oh, God! I need to through up, worse than when I took my detective exam. But, here goes!_

"Hey."

_What the hell are you doing here, Maggie? I thought I was pretty clear this afternoon._

"Um. What are you...what are you doing here?"

_I can't keep up this civility much longer. It is killing me, ever time I see you, Maggie. Don't you fucking get that you've broken my heart? Now, you're going to show up at my sister's house, and fucking rub it in my face some more?"_

"I really need, to talk to you. And, if you just give me two minutes of your time, I promise I'll be out of your hair."

_Please, say yes, Alex! I can't keep my cool much longer. Please, don't make me beg like a fucking dog! Because, I will._

"Two minutes."

"I heard everything you said. I get it. And, if you never want to talk to me, again, I'll respect that. I'll disappear. But, I don't meet many people that I care about. And, I care about you, a lot..."

_Oh, shit. Don't start crying. Don't start crying._

"You've become really important to me. And, uh, I hope that one day you and I could be friends. Because, I don't want to imagine my life, without you in it."

_Damn, you, Sawyer. You've won this round. But, you're still on the bench._

"Pool. Tomorrow, night." 

"Wouldn't miss it!" 

_Oh, thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Lord, Jesus! Thank you!_

Maggie knew she was just granted some divine reprieve. She wasn't going to waste it. Mission Sanvers!

 


End file.
